by Mickey

MCCGW is over $200 a share. Who can blame it, really? After all, Fox Sports told me that the single-season home run figure is the ultimate record in all of sports. In ALL OF SPORTS. Does that make McGwire the ultimate sportsman?

I could say something about soccer being slightly more widespread a sport than baseball, but I don't want to touch anything that might imply that the French are the ultimate sportsmen.

The game stopped for what, ten minutes? If it was the ultimate record, it deserves more time than that. When Pete Rose broke Ty Cobb's career-hits record, the game stopped for like half an hour, and they drove a car onto the field to give to Pete, and everything. But it was the eighties, so I guess they had to be extravagant.

It's been a great race to watch. But I don't quite get these guys that catch home run balls and GIVE them to Mac. They're worth at least $5000 each, cause the lucky ball-retriever gets offered that much on the spot. But they choose to give the ball to the man who hit it.

I know their intentions are good. The kid who caught #59 or something said, "I knew it would mean a lot to him, so I gave it to him." Obviously this was a truly inspired kid, much like the awestruck young face that Fox kept showing when Mac drove #62. I'm not slamming them for their intent.

But if it means a lot to him, couldn't he just BUY the ball? Am I missing something? Is he broke? Andro doesn't cost THAT much, does it?

Anyway, no one in this story is more deserving of contempt than the IRS, who suggested that they might collect gift taxes from the person who caught and gave back the record-breaking home run ball. Since no one caught it, and a stadium employee retrieved it, this isn't a big deal. But think about it--

America's national pastime indeed. The ball's already been flown to the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, along with the bat that hit it, and possibly the wad of tobacco that landed near home plate--and the IRS wants to tax it. We Bosses and the IRS never really got along much, ever since they grabbed Capone right before we were gonna hit him. Grabbed him on nothin, too. Tax evasion. If the IRS made money respectably, they wouldn't bother with any of this.

But I digress, a lot. Now let's get to the point. It looks like the Bosses picked the right year to go online. MMCGW is the ultimate sportsman in the history of Earth. The Yankees stand to finish the season with the best win record of all time. Baseball is booming. "People have been saying it is bringing the country together," says McGwire. "So be it. I am happy to bring the country together."

Even the Wall Street Journal is talking about it. You traders are witnessing a fantastic bull market--this sure doesn't happen every year.

In ten years, provided the Y2K bug doesn't melt our server and knock down your house and burn your toast, you can say to all the new traders, "Yeah, I remember the baseball bulls of '98."

And they'll probably just laugh at you from the comfort of their money-losing one-man bank.

If you've got a thought you'd like to air in this space, send it over to mickey@majorleaguemarket.com.